Being a Mom

My Speech today

In a unique way

Will Define a Mom

And then some…

 

It’s not always easy 

There’s ups and downs

It can make you queasy

Between smiles and frowns

 

Let’s ask the question

And see what we find

To confirm the notion

That moms are kind

 

Who is a Mom?

Someone who cares…

Nurtures selflessly

one who wears 

various hats…seamlessly?

That is a mom

She shares and cares

Often endlessly

She’s always aware

And progresses easily

 

Who is a Mom?

One who smiles

Unconditionally?

And comes alive

Nurturing tenderly?

That is a mom

Her child is dear

In many ways

It’s very clear

Make no mistake

 

Who is a Mom?

One that worries

When her child is hurt?

One who scurries

When her child alerts?

That is a mom

Her radar isn’t like any other

She responds with speed

For any mother

It’s an essential need

 

Who is a Mom?

Is she is a mentor

And a friend?

Does she have the rights words

For a child that vents

That is a mom

She’s certainly wise

And listens intently

She gives advice

That’s useful and timely

 

Who is a Mom?

A guide and ally

advocate for their child?

A supporter in times

When things are wild?

That is a Mom

She protects and paves

The way to success

When mistakes are made

She’s there to address

 

Who is a Mom?

One who aches

When her child is in pain?

One who celebrates

When she sees her child gain?

That is a mom

She shows great devotion

And wipes away tears

Connects to emotions

She’s a cheerleader

 

Who is a Mom?

Is she someone who gives

Without needing to take?

Does she only live

for her childrens’ sake?

That is a mom

She is dedicated 

And takes care of her child

Once they’ve graduated

She rediscovers her life.

 

That’s my little story

About being a mom

It’s extremely rewarding

It’s taught me to be calm

 

Toddlers or Teens

With their crazy moods

They still are sweet

My love stays true

 

It starts with a cry 

From a little one

I’ve learned so much

I love being a mom!

 -A.K.

 

Advertisements

Freebie Alert!

I am running a free book giveaway for a limited time.

It is a quick read and makes concepts such as mindfulness accessible to all ages and belief systems.

Check it out!

A.K.

Stop that imposter!

In the world of psychology, there are two extremes in how people can perceive themselves and their abilities – Imposter Syndrome and the Dunning-Kruger effect. Needless to say, with all extremes, neither one of these are healthy.

Imposter Syndrome

On one side, we have people of extremely high capability, sometimes referred to as “gifted”, who truly don’t see the gift they possess. They trivialize all their achievements because they somehow are not able to see the extent of their talent and potential. Even if they receive validation from the outside such as close friends and family, their perspective remains unchanged.

People on this end of the spectrum tend to deny themselves opportunities they are more than capable of handling simply because they feel it is beyond their reach. This may sound like a self-confidence or self-esteem issue, but from my experience and observations, it is slightly different. It is more so the inability to acknowledge and recognize one’s academic prowess, talent, skills or brilliance despite all the accomplishments to-date.

If we find ourselves here, how can we get out of that slump?  

The first step would be to reset your self-awareness. It truly has to come down to the point of YOU believing in yourself. A few things that can get you there are:

  1. Being self aware – stop that negative thought before it gets deeply embedded. Negative thoughts simply reinforce your misconceptions. Compounding those thoughts only make the matter worse.
  2. Reflecting on your successes – Looking at the big picture and asking “How many people have done this?”. That provides more accurate weightage to the uniqueness and demands of your wins.
  3. Treating “failure” as stepping stone to success i.e. when things go wrong or off-course, use that example as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than tie it back to your competence or abilities.

It could take years to eliminate the Imposter syndrome, but once you own and recognize the problem, you will progress out of that state at an exponential rate.

Dunning-Kruger Effect

On the other extreme, we have people of low competence (in a specific subject or discipline for example) that truly believe that they are experts! If you are anything like me, you’re first reaction to that would be, “Seriously??!!”. These people unfortunately get less than favorable labels in a corporate situation. Up until a month ago, I did not know there was an identified “Cognitive Bias” that would cause people to behave in such a manner. I chanced upon this concept when watching a documentary on a particular conspiracy theory. Enough said. 🙂

People on this extreme basically overestimate their expertise in relation to others, resulting in the conclusion that THEY are experts. 

So how can this issue be addressed? Here too, it starts with self awareness and additionally self-calibration (or recalibration).

  1. Being self aware – Honestly looking into oneself to assess one’s level of humility and integrity. This will automatically kick-off the recalibration process.
  2. Reflecting on the relativity your successes – Looking at others’ skills or successes to get a relative assessment of your level of expertise. It could affirm that you are in the 99th percentile or, more likely it could give you a realistic view of you stand.
  3. Treating “failure” as stepping stone to success – If we view the concept of “failure” as something that allows us to grow, that will lead to less defensiveness and/or blaming others and a better likelihood for collaboration for better results.

The first step to solving a problem is to acknowledge it. That would probably be the hardest part for people on this end of the spectrum.

Conclusion

Although I have simplified the definitions and potential solutions for these cases, both extremes are issues that in some cases may even warrant professional help. As observers of this behavior, we can help by empathizing with these people, for starters, and seeing how we can help them break out of that way of thinking.

Finally, I leave you with this question: “Where do YOU fall within this cognitive spectrum?”.

A.K.

It all started here…

It all started here…

https://artfulthoughtsbyak.wordpress.com/2019/03/20/it-all-started-here/
— Read on artfulthoughtsbyak.wordpress.com/2019/03/20/it-all-started-here/

Sharing updates to this post on my book release.

It is scary…

Yet exciting

It is a goal…

Yet a purpose

It is an ending…

Yet a whole new beginning!

A.K.

It all started here…

I am happy to announce that I have written my first book!

What a journey! I learned so much along the way.

The book was written from my heart. It comes from my personal experiences and struggles. My hope is that this book can help others get out of their rut.

I use an analogy of traffic lights to demonstrate how we can regulate our minds with a simple “Stop-Wait-Go” thought process to reduce chaos and negativity in our lives.

If this sounds interesting, you can find my e-book on, yes, Amazon at the Kindle store for only $0.99

Pre-order here

The paperback version is now available and can be ordered from Amazon.com by clicking here.

Learning to let go

Have you every had to say goodbye to a close friend?

Have you ever had to part with things that you unknowingly attached sentimental value?

Have you ever had to make the decision to downsize because you have more things than your house can reasonably accommodate?

All of these situations are difficult…at first. But when you realize that the problem is in your perspective alone, it makes it a much simpler problem to overcome.

One of my biggest learning moments was when a friend that I had really connected with at a spiritual level had to leave the country for a new opportunity. It took me about six months to adjust to the change (there was a huge void in my life). I missed her a lot. She was the one friend that just got me. I don’t connect very easily with people at that level, so it hurt. But in the process of adjusting and reflecting on my emotions, I learned that I had gotten too attached to her and the idea of her. I had to accept that the strong connection that we had built would cross all barriers including the physical distance. I had to accept that she was a blessing and that she would always be that special friend. Once I could accept that, it was freeing. Now, I still feel the same connection to her even if we don’t talk for say, a month. I call her my “Soul Sister”. But when we do talk, it’s as though we were never apart!

In many ways, it prepared me for my kids becoming teenagers. You have to accept that they will start developing their own schedules, friends and interests. They won’t always come running to you to give you a big hug when you get home as they did when they were toddlers. This doesn’t mean that they love you any less – it just means the relationship is evolving and looks different. They show their love in different ways. The key is that you need to recognize that and more importantly be secure about that.

Now the easier part. Letting go of “stuff”. I personally don’t get attached to “stuff” and I keep purchases to a minimum but not everyone I know shares the same philosophy. Their choices sometimes leaves me in a situation of saying “Gosh, why do we need so much stuff?”. Seriously, why??!!

It has created more stress for me than pleasure. Long story short…it’s time to let go.

My husband and I watched a very interesting documentary on Netflix called “Minimalism” which really provides a lot of good insight into the benefits of simplicity. That was the trigger that he needed to get on board (which helps my cause tremendously 😀).

So, I am on a mission to simplify and minimize, one space at a time. Much like my view on relationships – I am thankful for the things and relationships I have had, but I no longer create a debilitating attachment to either of them. 😀

A.K.

Empowerment

Who empowers you to be the best you can be?

Is it your employer? Does a company culture automatically translate to empowered employees?

Is it your boss or manager? Do they carve the path for you to “BRING IT!”?

Is it your parents? Did they give to the freedom to explore your own interests and strengths?

Is it your spouse? Does he encourage you to explore and strengthen your individuality?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, you have a head start on being empowered.

If you answered “No” to all the questions, fret not…all is not lost.

Although you may get an assist with external sources, true empowerment comes when YOU yourself believe in yourself!

Once you find it within YOURSELF, there’s no stopping you. There is no limit. There no perception of “Rejection” – it is just considered another door closer to SUCCESS!

Once you get here, no one can contain your energy:

No company culture.

No boss.

No parents.

No spouse.

NO ONE!!!

Bottom Line:

Believe, Believe, Believe!

A.K.