Communication, Compassion, and Curiosity

There are three key factors that help build stronger relationships – Communication, Compassion, and Curiosity.

Being willing to listen, ask questions, and empathize helps you better understand how to improve the quality of your relationships. Just understanding the other person’s point of view enables you to broaden your views. Maybe even change them in some scenarios.

This is the approach I’ve taken in my latest bestselling book, “PG-13: A Guide To Strengthening The Mother-Daughter Bond.”

I’ve co-authored it with my daughter to represent both the mom and daughter perspective providing prompts to facilitate the reconciliation process.

You can check it out on Amazon for 99 cents here – PG-13

Enjoy!

A.K.

Fear of missing out (F.O.M.O.)

FOMO comes in many forms.  It could be related to:

• Information 
• Opportunities 
• Being a part of something

Back in the day, people overcame the fear of missing out by coming together and talking as a community…the original form of social media.

The community did a lot of good things:

• Recognized people that contributed
• Helped people in need
• Worked together to achieve
• Provided moral support for their members

Much like social media, community also created problems like:

• Disagreements
• Gossip
• Disassociation

It is the same driver that makes us want to join a (non-virtual) community that makes us become a part of a socia media outlet…that is FOMO!

Let’s take Facebook, for example:

• We see photos of our friends and families
• We hear of their achievements
• They share events with us
• We are more connected with our friends

These things are probably what motivate us to check our Facebook accounts everyday.  It gets to a point where you want to make sure you stay on top of everything.  Unfortunately that sometimes includes unnecessary information from your friends’ friends…whether you like it or not (pun not intended)!

You feel so connected with this virtual network that you want to share everything; what you did, where you are, what you ate and the list goes on.  Nothing wrong with any of that of course, but when it starts feeling more like a mental burden, then it’s definitely time to reconsider.  

This is what I realized when I was on vacation a few months ago.  No data, no wifi, no mind clutter a.k.a TMI (too much information). When you see that you are receiving TMI, it also makes you understand that perhaps you have been giving out TMI!

I made a conscious decision to overcome my FOMO (because I questioned whether in fact I was missing out on anything of value) and decided to eliminate the TMI factor from both directions.  Since then, it has been very peaceful from that standpoint.  

I have also realized that my true friends reach out to me outside of Facebook. I can safely say that I have decluttered both virtually and in my personal relationships.  It is a good, fresh start to life!

I complete this blog with the confidence that it is not TMI. 

😀

A.K.

It’s not you…it’s me

One of the most common ways to end a relationship is to say, “It’s not you…it’s me”.  Well, atleast this is what I have learned from watching sitcoms when people want a quick, drama-free exit. 😀

Although it sounds funny, when you dig a little deeper into the statement there is some amount of wisdom embedded in it.

In my experience, a true friendship is formed when you have similar interests, personalities, hobbies, thought processes or backgrounds. In case you were wondering, this is not any ground breaking finding from a social experiment!  I just came up with it…on the fly. 😀. 

So what if you find that in your social interactions there are not many that are similar to you?  

• You like to create music…they can’t relate
• You shop for necessities…they shop for fun
• You trend towards a minimalistic life…”Shouldn’t you live on top of a hill and recite some mantras?
• Your spiritual views are not ‘traditional’…”Houston, we have a problem”
• You like scientific and nature documentaries…”Yawn yawn”
• You are a thrill seeker…”What a waste of precious time”
• You grew up in Africa…”Are there lions and elephants in your backyard?”
• You are of Indian origin…”African, Indian or American?!”
• You are not much of a drinker…”Really?!!”
• You believe in quality friendships…”The more the merrier”

Don’t worry.  All these reactions help you make the distinction between “acquaintance” and “friend”.  

It’s like Charles Darwin’s theory of ‘Natural Selection’.  The less you have in common with people the shorter and weaker your relationship. That leaves you with more healthy and fulfulling friendships!

When you are able to transition from “You don’t have anything in common with me” to “It’s not you…it’s me” it makes life easier.  You end up naturally finding those people who can relate to you or some aspect of you.  A good basis for a friendship. 

I may not have many of such good friends, but the few that I do have been really amazing! I often have to remind myself to not need that friendship but rather enjoy the friendship (while it lasts).

To good friends!

😀

A.K.