Thank Goodness!

We often get caught up in the mundane aspects of life.

  • Wake up
  • Brush teeth
  • Eat breakfast
  • Go to work
  • Come home
  • Make dinner
  • Chat with family
  • Go to bed
  • Repeat

It’s no wonder we feel stressed out most of the time!

I guess that’s why we say “Thank goodness it’s Friday!”

Knowing that we can actually slow down on the weekend is a pleasant thought.

In all this, we tend to forget about the things that make our lives richer.

So, on the eve of Thanksgiving, I thought I would reflect on some of these things. Perhaps these will resonate with most of you.

Thank Goodness:

  1. I have two loving kids. They never fail to entertain…hormone surges and all. 😀
  2. I have a supportive husband. He has given me the room to discover myself and experience personal growth.
  3. I have a family that cares. Parents, in-laws, siblings. Life would be so lonely without them.
  4. I have a job. Regardless of challenges that are inherent with most jobs, having financial stability is definitely a plus.
  5. I have the time to stay healthy. The gym is one of my “happy places”!
  6. For GPS. I don’t get lost while driving anymore. 😀
  7. For Chocolate. Need I say more?

😀

Here’s to taking a little time to focus on the positive things in our lives!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

-A.K.

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Marriage is akin to a mountain

The older I get, the more I realize that I have always been more of a realist.  

While growing up, there was so much talk about soul mates, perfect mates or love at first sight.  I somehow never really thought that made sense.  Personally, I felt that such labels set most relationships up for disappointment and failure. 

If you are in a relationship that is perfect, consider yourself one of the lucky few!

I wanted to use my experiences, and those of others I’ve seen, to make an analogy with nature…specifically mountains and rock formations.

***

Marriage is like a mountain

That can be eroded by rains

But this merely symbolizes a new phase

Adjustments are made to avoid further deterioration

Marriage is like a mountain

That can develop cracks due to wind and water

But if we take a closer look at these weak spots

They provide us a window into where the true strenghs lie

Marriage is akin to a mountain

Strong shifts in the earth can either cause destruction

Or can result in the mountain standing taller

This all depends on the amount of support around

Marriage is akin to a mountain

Every layer represents a phase with lessons

With time, it grows taller and stronger

And also becomes home for other living beings

***

Marriage teaches each of us to be better people.  It makes us a little less selfish.  It provides us a opportunity for self growth, self reflection and selflessness.

That being said…it takes an effort, from both parties involved, to maintain a state of equilibrium.  Goodness doesn’t always come easy right?

😀

A.K.

An act of love

What is love??

The song by Haddaway plays…

(Visualize the Saturday Night Live interpretation of this song…😀)

After a very productive day at a work, I rushed home to chauffeur my daughter to her soccer practice.  Yes, I live quite the life! 😀

I took some time just to clear my mind by going for a peaceful walk.  Not only did that clear my mind, but it energized me to start preparations for dinner…chicken curry.  I am a herbivore but the rest of my family are carnivores. 😀. I was almost done with the prep for dinner when I had to go and pick my daughter up.  

When I got back home, I found that my husband had neatly cut up the chicken for me…unsolicited!  “How sweet!”, I thought to myself.  It’s the small and unexpected acts of kindness that can renew the love in a relationship (especially if you have been married for almost 20 years)!

When I saw him, I gave him a BIG hug and thanked him for his thoughtfulness.  Don’t get me wrong…he does a lot of nice things for me, but the surprise moments are extra special!
So what was my act of kindness back to him? Let’s just say that I really buy into he old adage that “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”.

Chicken curry   
Coriander crusted potatoes

 
To conclude, I would say that “love” comes in many shapes, forms, sizes and spices…we just have to recognize it! 😀

A.K.

Canoeing can improve your marriage!

I am not kidding…not entirely anyway. 😀

This weekend, my family travelled to the Kickapoo Nature Reserve area for some fun and recreation time.


It is always funny how teens react when you tell them that you have planned a nature vacation.  At first, they react as though it is the worst possible thing that could happen! Once you get them there though, away from the Netflix videos and video games, they actually enjoy themselves!  Getting that Vitamin D from the sun, getting off their ‘seats’ are all positive things for sure!

Other than hiking, fishing, seeing Amish communities and farmlands, we went canoeing.  Which brings me to the focus of this post.


My husband and son paired up and me and my daughter went together.

It took a few minutes to orient ourselves and figure out how to work with the river, when to turn, how to turn, how to synchronize and be most efficient.  This is very similar to the first year or two of marriage.  When you start living with someone, you have to figure out how they work (some aspects are more apparent than others). ‘Does he squeeze the toothpaste from the top or the bottom?’ ‘Does he believe in making the bed in the morning?’ 😀

When you encounter inefficiencies during canoeing such as one partner does not listen to instruction or decides that they are too tired to paddle, you have a few  choices:

  • Give up and stay stuck in the river
  • Yell at your partner and waste your energy
  • Let the other have their non cooperative moment. Sit back and save your arm strength until they realize you have to work as a team to get to the other end of the river
  • Acknowledge that they may just be tired.  Relax and enjoy the river and its surroundings with them!

The last two choices would probably yield the best results. Just as in a marriage, we have to take a step back once in a while to acknowledge that the other might be going through some pain.  That pain sometimes prevents them from being on the same page as you.  We all know that this ‘pain’ comes in many forms, shapes and sizes. 😀 So rather than being ‘up in arms’,  save your arm strength until they cool off. Then, give them a BIG hug and move right along on the path of life.  They will both appreciate you for understanding and perhaps realize that you are a good team player! 

When I had a rhythm with my canoeing partner, we had fun and we could enjoy the scenary around us.  In marriage too, when your partnership has been (loosely) defined, you can focus more on enjoying life’s happy moments and dealing with issues or adversities in a calm manner (knowing and trusting that your combined strength will take you through).

It was definitely interesting how after almost 20 years of being married, an activity like canoeing reminded me of the basic principles behind a building (and re-building) a stronger relationship.

I respect the power of Nature!!

 -A.K

The Rendezvous – Ms Deeva and Elmo

RECAP:  Elmo and Ms Deeva met at a “Modesty Bootcamp” and struck up a friendship.  In the last episode, Ms Deeva was in her movie star dressing room, without her hair and make-up crew.  It was a daunting first-time experience for her.  After struggling through a few hair-dos, she learned that she did not have to put up pretenses just to be with a friend.  It was a breakthrough moment for her!

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